Her Guilty Secret Read online

  ‘He’s fascinating, isn’t he?’

  Shit. How long have I been drooling over Connor, staring at him as though willing him to come and talk to me? It’s not like he and I are a thing—at all—but guilt flames in my cheeks. I need to do better. I have to pretend he’s nothing to me but a law professor I don’t particularly like.

  ‘Do you think?’ I turn to Louise, intentionally shifting my shoulder to Connor so that he’s no longer in my line of sight.

  ‘Everyone thinks. He’s incredible.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘I’m going to apply to his firm.’

  ‘Seriously?’ My brows furrow closer together.

  ‘Yeah, of course. Unlike you—’ Louise grins ‘—I don’t disdain criminal law. In fact, I love it. The cases are so interesting.’

  ‘Yeah, and confronting...’

  ‘You’re going to have to deal with that in the CPS, you know.’

  I lift my shoulders. ‘In the pursuit of truth, justice...’

  ‘Liberty.’ She laughs, and shakes her head. ‘You should apply, too.’

  ‘No.’ The word is firmer than I intended and I soften it with a smile. ‘I’m not interested in Hughes Brophy. And I don’t want to move to Dublin.’

  ‘You’re crazy! When I heard he was coming to teach this term it was the first thing that occurred to me. Along with everyone else in our year.’

  ‘Not me,’ I say emphatically.

  ‘I wonder why he decided to spend a term here?’ Louise ponders aloud and I desperately wish we could push the conversation to safer ground. To anything but Connor.

  ‘Not sure,’ I say, expressing my disinterest with the small rebuff.

  Louise isn’t rebuffed. ‘I mean, after the Donovan verdict, it seems kind of weird to take his foot off the accelerator. He could have had his pick of cases.’

  I can’t help it. I look over my shoulder, searching for his head. Dean Walters has left—it is now just the two of them, locked in a conversation that looks kind of serious.

  The frisson of darkness I feel whispering across my spine is unmistakable.

  I am jealous. Absurd, given that I can’t stand the man. But sexually, oh, sexually, yes. I want him. And I want him to want me.

  And that gorgeous woman in the red dress is obviously going to be in his bed tonight.

  Fuck.

  That should feel liberating, because it firmly relegates the moment we shared into the distant past. Into a pile of irrelevancy.

  But it doesn’t.

  It makes me want to storm across the room and shove him to the ground, kissing him and mauling him with my bright red nails.

  Yikes.

  I turn to Louise. ‘Let’s get you circulating then.’

  She pulls a face and shakes her head. ‘I’m not ready.’

  But I’m not to be deterred. ‘I really like you, Lou, but I’m not going to give you a job offer at the end of the night.’ I wink. ‘Come on. Let’s go meet some of these industry pros we’re meant to be falling over ourselves to impress.’

  It’s not hard. The school has done a great job of lining people up, so within thirty minutes we’ve spoken to two different senior partners from top-tier firms. I consider myself Lou’s wing woman in this exercise, having zero interest in working at any of these corporates.

  But it’s still interesting.

  These guys are going out of their way to sell us on their firms, without even knowing if we’re a good fit or not.

  Nobody wants the next Connor Hughes to slip through their fingers, I guess, and they have no idea which of us might turn out to be that very rare diamond in the rough, that unusual genius with the application of the law.

  We move on to a woman from a firm that’s huge in the States and has just opened a commercial litigation department here in London. She introduces herself with a broad American accent as Anne Sloan-Smith, saying each part of her name with bullet-like precision. ‘The benefit of working somewhere like Linton Meyer Davies is that we have the name, we have the money, we have the power.’ She leans closer and I like her instantly. I like any woman who can rise to the top of her field in an industry that remains frustratingly male-dominated. ‘But over here we’re just getting started. It’s like having the chance to come in at the ground level of something that’s destined to succeed—because LMD won’t let this expansion fail.’

  She reaches into her bag and pulls out two business cards, handing one to Louise and one to me.

  ‘And it’s only commercial lit?’ Louise asks.

  ‘We’ve got a tiny probate team—just three people, and really we only brought the team over because we have one client who requires a lot of managing.’ She winks, and I presume she’s implying that this client has a lot of money, and probably a lot of children, and so needs various watertight trusts and wills in place. ‘For now, we’re commercial lit focused. But come on board and you never know. That’s the beauty of getting in with a start-up.’

  ‘Yeah.’ I can see Louise is already contemplating a change in trajectory. I hide my smile with a champagne flute.

  ‘Think about it,’ Anne presses and then looks past us, moving away.

  ‘Whoa.’ Louise is practically jumping out of her skin when she turns to face me. ‘How great is this?’

  ‘If you say so.’ My shrug is non-committal. ‘Shall we find someone else to sell you to?’

  ‘Yes!’

  I laugh at her enthusiasm, and resist the impulse to look for Connor.

  I have to be strong.

  We speak to two more partners from two different firms and then, inevitably, finally, Connor moves in front of us, his eyes lingering on mine for a second longer than normal before encompassing Louise.

  ‘Ladies,’ he murmurs, and he might as well have said the word against my shoulder, for how I feel. It hums across my flesh, scattering goose bumps over me.

  ‘Mr Hughes.’ Louise is still buzzing from our last conversation. ‘Are you having a good night?’

  I don’t say anything. The last time I saw him I had my hand down my pants. He was right, you know. Playing with fire is going to burn me. I have to be strong.

  I tighten my lips and focus on a point over his shoulder. My body is stretched with tension and awareness.

  ‘It’s interesting,’ he says non-committally.

  Louise is not deterred. ‘It sure is. This is amazing. I had no idea we’d get to meet so many incredible people.’

  He looks to me once more. I don’t look back but I feel his gaze burning my face. ‘Anyone pique your interest?’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ Louise gushes and then seems to centre herself. ‘But Hughes Brophy is still my first choice.’

  I see him nod in the periphery of my vision. ‘And you, Miss Amorelli?’

  Great. I can’t very well continue to ignore him now. Not when he’s called me out by name. ‘I...’ I meet his eyes, keeping my expression neutral even as my stomach is churning with pent-up needs and forbidden wants ‘...need another drink.’

  Louise laughs. ‘That’s still full.’

  ‘I want something else.’ I smile at her, not Connor. ‘Excuse me.’

  I step past Connor, taking extra care not to touch him.

  But he touches me. Just a light graze of his fingertips against my arse as I move behind him. So swift it could have been an accident, but I know it wasn’t.

  This is a nightmare. And it’s a dream, too.

  * * *

  I listen to Olivia’s friend Louise but I angle my body so I can watch her. That dress should be illegal. And yet it’s perfectly fine; it’s not even super revealing compared to half of what the women in attendance are wearing.

  But her back is one of the sexiest fucking things I’ve ever seen. Her skin is flawless gold, soft-looking, save for the little ridges of her spine that I
ache to run my teeth over until she whimpers.

  One look at Olivia Amorelli and I’m an animal.

  I have been cradling the same Scotch all night. I throw it back now, and nod at something Louise has said. She’s obviously desperate to apply to Hughes Brophy. She’s friends with Olivia, which means she must be... I don’t know. What does it mean?

  I can’t pursue Olivia and yet my eyes burn holes in her back as she rests her elbows against the bar.

  ‘Email me and I’ll set up a phone interview with HR,’ I say to Louise, my tone dismissive. I reach into my jacket to retrieve a card. ‘Excuse me.’

  The bar is maybe ten people away from me. I focus on the wall at the back of the room and cut through the crowd, not looking left or right lest someone take it as an opportunity to speak to me.

  As I get closer I see that she’s bent forward a little at the waist, her eyes focused on the bar staff as they zip around behind the counter.

  I shouldn’t approach her.

  She’s smarter than I am, keeping her distance as she is. But, for the love of all that is holy, if the way she walked off on me just now didn’t do something to my resolve.

  I stand behind her as though I’m waiting for a drink, my body covering hers. My fingers find the sweet curve of her arse and dig into the flesh through the fabric of her dress. I feel her harsh intake of breath as it travels through her body and into me.

  My smile is tight, like the rest of me. Tight and ready to explode.

  She shifts a little, looking over her shoulder, her eyes colliding with mine for a moment before she turns back to the bar.

  I have no idea what she’s going to do now. Smart money would be on her standing up straighter and moving away from me.

  She doesn’t. She backs up a little further, so that my hand has more purchase on her perfectly shaped rear. There are people everywhere. This is dangerous. Stupid dangerous.

  She rocks her hips from one side to the other, brushing her butt against my cock. Jesus.

  I force myself to step back, to put some distance between us, and see the way her lips curve into a knowing smile.

  ‘Miss Amorelli,’ I say, the words coming out throaty and commanding. ‘Do you have a moment?’ I move to stand beside her and one of the waiters approaches us immediately.

  ‘What’ll it be, sir?’ the waiter asks.

  I look at Olivia, waiting for her answer. ‘Coke.’

  ‘And a Scotch.’ My voice is thick. Can you blame me?

  Neither of us speaks. We are close enough to touch yet we don’t. Almost as if we know that we just need to be patient for a moment longer.

  Our drinks are pushed towards us and I can barely contain the impatience moving through me. There are a billion reasons to be strong here. I don’t listen to any of them.

  ‘You wanted to speak to me, sir?’ There’s defiance in her eyes and I am lost. All good intentions are destroyed by the hint of rebellion she’s pushing back at me.

  I look around the room. It’s packed with people and there’s nowhere private.

  ‘Follow me.’ It’s a challenge, a gauntlet. We both know what will happen if we leave.

  I turn away from her yet I see her in my mind’s eye, as clearly as if I were looking at her face. I weave through the crowd, confident she’s behind me. I slip away from the main group, out of the entrance to the ballroom, but I don’t stop.

  The corridor is deserted except for a couple of members of staff milling about. I don’t look at them. With each step I take, the sound of the party gets softer, the pianist’s music just a distant warble.

  Finally, I pass a service corridor. I stop abruptly, throwing one look over my shoulder to be sure she’s following. She is.

  Like I knew she would.

  Because, whatever this is between us, we are as beholden to it as one another.

  The corridor stretches straight ahead and then turns a corner. There’s nothing here save for a few high chairs and a mop in a bucket. I stand with one hand on my hip, the other holding my Scotch, waiting for her.

  Waiting.

  Waiting.

  Until she turns the corner and almost bumps into me.

  She freezes, so close I can smell the intoxicating mix of her shampoo and perfume, her eyes holding mine. Anticipation kicks in my gut.

  ‘Well, sir,’ she says, her eyes sparking. ‘What did you want to talk about?’ She sips her drink, still watching me.

  I marshal my thoughts—with difficulty.

  ‘Your academic results are impressive. You’ll no doubt have your choice of training contracts after you graduate.’

  ‘I’m aware of that.’

  Sweet fuck, I love how confident she is.

  ‘Unless you go and mess it all up.’

  She narrows her eyes, moving closer perhaps without even realising that’s what she’s doing. ‘Is that meant to be a threat?’

  ‘No.’ I match her step, moving nearer, my body acting independently of my mind. ‘It’s a warning.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘If we do this...if I do what I want to do, and what I think you want me to do, it has the potential to torpedo everything you’ve worked for.’

  She tilts her head to the side, assessing me as though I’m an object in a store she’s deciding if she wants to buy or not. ‘I see. And what exactly do you want to do to me?’

  My laugh is completely flattened of humour. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Show me.’ It’s a husky, heaven-sent invitation.

  God.

  She’s killing me. Haven’t I just told her why I can’t show her? Why we can’t do this?

  ‘Olivia...’

  ‘Miss Amorelli,’ she murmurs. ‘If you’re too scared, sir, then why did you bring me back here?’ She arches a single, perfectly shaped brow, the challenge delivered perfectly.

  I want, so badly, to take it, but every shred of decency—something I have feared I no longer possess—reminds me why I can’t.

  This lectureship position might be temporary but I am still her lecturer.

  She’s my student.

  She’s ten years younger than me.

  I know ruining her life just because I want to screw her is a short course to hating myself more than I think I already do.

  She’s worked her perfect arse off for years to get to where she’s at. Fucking me could ruin all of that.

  I sip my Scotch, weighing things up, buying time. But apparently I’m out of time. She shakes her head slowly and spins around. She walks away from me, her beautiful back making my gut ache, her swishing bottom a beacon I don’t think I can ignore.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  HIS HAND AROUND my wrist is sexy and insistent. He grabs and jerks me, and when I spin back to him I see that he’s been treating me with kid gloves, giving me an opportunity to escape this fierce swirling lava of desire before it completely incinerates us both. Our glasses are on the floor, hastily discarded before he reached for me, and I nearly knock one over with the toe of my shoe.

  ‘You want to know what I want from you?’ he demands, a different beast altogether to the way he was minutes ago.

  ‘Yes.’ It’s a simple agreement, and it’s all I can say because words are clogged in my thick, dry throat.

  Something has overtaken him, a darkness, a need, a passion, and it demands that we both answer to it. It controls us both. He is as powerless as I to manage this, to ignore it.

  ‘This is fucking madness,’ he grunts, almost like a plea, pulling on my wrist again before dropping his hands to my hips and spinning me around to face the wall. I curse the dress I’m wearing then. The length of it, the weight of it. But it’s no barrier to Connor Hughes. He wedges a knee between my legs and grabs the skirt at my hips, pushing it up, lifting it all the way up my legs, exposing the delicate lace thong I’m wearing.


  ‘Hold your dress,’ he commands, and I drop my hands instantly, doing exactly that. ‘Fucking dress,’ he grunts into my ear, his breath warm against my flesh.

  I hear him unbuckle his belt, then his button and zip, followed by the soft rustle of fabric as he pushes his pants down. He runs the head of his cock along my arse and I make a noise that is barely human.

  He’s harder than a rock and he’s hard for me.

  I want him so badly I whimper.

  I need him.

  This is madness. I know it. But I don’t care. He reaches for my thong and I hold my breath as he pushes it down my thighs. I have to wriggle to step out of it but the second I’m free of its elastic constraint he’s arranging me against the wall, spreading my legs and pushing me forward so that my naked butt is in the air, one of my hands fisted around my dress, the other braced against the white wall of Tate Modern.

  His hands are both on my arse then, cupping me, his fingers digging into my flesh as he spreads me apart and then his finger runs along my seam, finding my wet, pulsing heart.

  ‘You’re so goddamned wet,’ he murmurs and I nod, though there’s no need. He feels me. I feel me. And I know it’s all for him.

  ‘This is going to get us both in trouble,’ he grunts, his cock pushing against my arse. He holds it there and my breath is captive to my throat as I wonder about that for the first time in my life. I’ve never been interested in anything other than pretty standard sex. Definitely not...this.

  But with Connor? Oh, I’d go there. I want him to tie me up and make me his in every conceivable way. This trust I have in him is inexplicable. On an academic level, I am wary of his career choices and I resent his line of work. But here, now, I would willingly put my life in his hands.

  I’m sure as hell putting my expectations of pleasure in them. I am panting with a need to feel him inside me, desperately hoping I haven’t built him up to unreasonable proportions.

  What if this isn’t good?

  Am I kidding?

  I’m about this close to coming and we haven’t really started yet.

  ‘I have wanted to fuck you since the first day I saw you,’ he says, lifting one hand to my hair and tangling his fingers in its length. He pulls at it, not hard, but enough to make my head jerk back. I moan, low in my throat.